Camp Zero Doesn’t Live Up to the Sturgis Name

By Mary Panerio

Over its 80-year history, the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally has earned a serious reputation with bikers around the world. If you ride, you know about it. And even if you haven’t made the trip yourself, you’ve heard enough stories to picture the scene. A sea of leather. Big-name concerts. Extravagant bikes with all the bells and whistles. This is what a lot of people expect when visiting venues around Sturgis. But anyone who checked out Camp Zero in 2020 knows that it fell way short of those expectations. Here’s why…

The people were real weirdos.
Big Joe is his name, Snap Fabrications is his game, and this picture tells you all you need to know.
And dirtbags.
These weren’t the kind of friends your mom would approve of.
They behaved like animals.
The dogs were the best behaved in this bunch.
And were totally immature.
This dood had a 13-year-old’s sense of humor and wouldn’t stop telling everyone terrible jokes through his Sena, even though no one was laughing. Ever.
The builders were a bunch of nobodies.
Really anyone’s guess here.
We’re talkin’ small time.
Come on! Half of Sturgis has a front wheel 10 times bigger than this thing.
They gave a guy who claimed, “I Speak Good” a megaphone, and he “speak all the time”.
You can still hear Master of Ceremonies Dumptruck echoing through the campground weeks after the rally has ended.
Some guy named Led Sled parked Sportsters everywhere.
Then he threw a raging backyard party and called it the Sportster Showdown.
It was a total sausage fest.
250 bucks is 250 bucks during Sasha’s Cycles Rodeo Games.
Everything was dirty.
And what’s up with all the cars jumping? Don’t those Gambler 500 guys know this is a motorcycle rally?
No one had any respect for fresh air.
Holy smokes–we get it! You’ve never heard of the Clean Air Act of 1970.
At times things descended into total anarchy.
The fact that the anarchy games was sanctioned by a group called “Go Fast Don’t Die” is pretty telling.

What is this, a track for ants?

GoPowersports and Sena had to pony up thousands of dollars of prizes so people would race their Coleman minibikes around this pipsqueak track. (Thanks to Jimmy Heritage [@jjheritage] at Patrick Baty [@caneywell] for the slick footage.)

They smashed all the beers in sight.
People had to scrounge through the sacrificial remains leftover from someone smashing through a wall of Hamm’s tallboys while @ctowsend simultaneously jumped over him on his sportster.
Nobody listened to sound advice.
Russ Brown Motorcycle Attorneys warned, “Don’t associate us with anything that involves beer”.

Is that a Russ Brown decal placed dead center of that beer wall?

You had to leave the property to find actual pavement.
Mini Bike Ovals at the Buffalo Chip Crossroads were the only times these tires hit asphalt.

Did we mention they were noisy?

They acted like their mini bikes were choppers.

The security guys were real sticklers for the rules.
You couldn’t get away with anything without them chasing you down.
Zero fun was had.
Don’t let the smiles fool you.

Want to see more photos from 2020 at Camp Zero? There’s a whole gallery right here.

Forget everything you think you know about the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and start from ZERO.

Did you have zero fun at Camp Zero? Warn your friends in the comments below!

Presented by Camp Zero
CAMP ZERO is the launch site for raising hell and rallying like the old days—a place where you can party like it’s 1981 with other cheapskates who love rad bikes, dirtbag friends and wild parties.At CAMP ZERO you’ll have everything you need to party, rinse and repeat, without all the fancy red carpet stuff you gotta pay more for somewhere else.As long as you’re down with a little dirt and debauchery, you’re invited. (Grumpy old bikers need not apply.)Find out more here.